You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
