I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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