Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I need to calm my uterus...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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