and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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