do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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