who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
