There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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