Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
