Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
