You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
