my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
