One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
