Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The adults are the big ones right?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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