I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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