I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
