Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
