Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
