you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
