I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
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I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
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He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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