why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
