I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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