i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So many bounce houses so little time
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
