Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
