great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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