bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
