i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The adults are the big ones right?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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