can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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