she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
