Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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