So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
