I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
