Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
