WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
