i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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