i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
