why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
