just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
