I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
