What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
