hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
