How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
