# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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