We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
