Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
