My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?