Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.

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  (330): Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper. http://tfl.nu/vs2k
  Replies (12) Good night (858) Bad night (3206)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother

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  (561): As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother http://tfl.nu/1acl
  Replies (21) Good night (2332) Bad night (655)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?

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  (860): Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be? http://tfl.nu/i247
  Replies (10) Good night (6829) Bad night (700)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  im holly from the hills drunk

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  (203): im holly from the hills drunk http://tfl.nu/ouvm
  Replies (18) Good night (3913) Bad night (1006)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?

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  (321): I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad? http://tfl.nu/p7vn
  Replies (39) Good night (838) Bad night (4680)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.

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  (218): I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it. http://tfl.nu/fsad
  Replies (42) Good night (6944) Bad night (2131)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.

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  (812): These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now. http://tfl.nu/s4lf
  Replies (7) Good night (1112) Bad night (2826)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.

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  (803): My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3the
  Replies (4) Good night (1590) Bad night (716)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.

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  (931): i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman. http://tfl.nu/vuix
  Replies (11) Good night (1431) Bad night (873)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.

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  (219): The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon. http://tfl.nu/hfsi
  Replies (1) Good night (1158) Bad night (486)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying

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  (330): I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying http://tfl.nu/l6qe
  Replies (6) Good night (474) Bad night (814)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work

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  (613): He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work http://tfl.nu/ow4z
  Replies (9) Good night (588) Bad night (1149)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Drunk ass.

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  (715): apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus (651): Drunk ass. http://tfl.nu/f50c
  Replies (3) Good night (649) Bad night (433)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.

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  (612): My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly. http://tfl.nu/orbs
  Replies (0) Good night (442) Bad night (296)
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  (415): View more from California

  nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar

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  (415): nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar http://tfl.nu/dyhy
  Replies (11) Good night (1201) Bad night (405)

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