Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps

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(607): View more from New York

just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.

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(816): View more from Missouri

... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.

(314): View more from Missouri

I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(408): View more from California

I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?

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(503): View more from Oregon

Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?

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(773): View more from Illinois

There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.

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(714): View more from California

Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had

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