I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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