4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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