Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie

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(512): View more from Texas

Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?

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(913): View more from Kansas

The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(843): View more from South Carolina

I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.

(478): View more from Georgia

Moment of silence for the loss of that option.

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(251): View more from Alabama

I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.

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(520): View more from Arizona

I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour

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(209): View more from California

I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.

(209): View more from California

Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.

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