yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.