You can't special order awesome
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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