Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize