Me too!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
