Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
