we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
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He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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