youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
