bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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