Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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