I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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