That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
