But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
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