just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize