You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
