lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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