my shit smells like andre
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize